Weigh In

I lost 1.5 pounds this week, which puts me back at the 4 pound loss I left off at before my "hiatus". I'm feeling pretty good about that.

Funny

Remember when I said I was going to lose 5 pounds by the end of February? And that if I lost 5 pounds a month, I'd meet my 30 pounds goal by July?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Fucking hilarious.

Obsessions

Things I'm obsessed with:

1. Checking my email.
2. Checking my phone for texts.
3. Knowing what time it is at all times.
4. Scarves. What will I do when I can't away with wearing one every day?
   
5. Knowing the weather forecast for the coming day, week, etc. (especially in winter)
6. A constant need to be "heard". This is why journals never worked for me; I felt it was pointless writing down my thoughts for no one to read.
7. The color pink. No shame!
8. People watching.
9. The Office.
10. Flowers. Anywhere, everywhere.
11. Lists.
12. Fantasizing about what I will look like when I am skinny.
    

Things I'm becoming obsessed with:

1. Blogs - reading them, writing in them (or fantasizing about all of the amazingly witty and insightful things I would/should be writing if I were an amazingly witty and insightful person), and figuring out how to make mine look cooler.
2. Babies.
3. Counseling (see point 6 above).
4. Lands' End Catalogs.

Things I'm trying to become obsessed with:

1. Going to the gym.
2. Cooking dinner every night. EVERY. NIGHT.
3. Writing lesson plans.
   
4. Gardening.
   

Nothing

Well, here I am. I have thought many times in the past few weeks about posting, and have certainly felt obligated to do so, but haven't been able to actually do it. It's not that I dreaded it, or that I never had anything productive to share; I really don't know why. I think I've come to the realization that the start of this blog marked the beginning of the downward psychological/emotional spiral that has been plaguing my life for the past month. Maybe the desire to change my physical appearance subconsciously triggered a desire to change other things, too. I don't know. Regardless, I've been avoiding The Blog for fear that it will only perpetuate the problem.

There were a couple weeks where I completely gave up counting points and tracking my success at the gym. I finally weighed myself last Friday, and to my surprise, only gained back 1.5 pounds. (I was expecting much worse). Last week I also went to the gym three times. This week, while not actually tracking the points I've eaten, I have most definitely become more conscious of what I've been eating. I went to the gym on Monday and plan to also go tonight and tomorrow.

I'm trying to gradually get back into the swing of this. Despite my fear of The Blog, I can't deny that it has helped and will continue to help me achieve my weight loss goals. The bottom line is that regardless of how or where I do it, I need to record my daily point intake and weekly weigh-ins. It'll either be here, or somewhere else. So, for awhile, I don't know if I'll have anything insightful to share or have a desire to share anything other than my "daily report". We'll see.